I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
