You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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