My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
