Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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