An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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