i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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