i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Vodka?
Forever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
