i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
