Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
