Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
