I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
