i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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