Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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