So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
