you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
