I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
