Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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