when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
