We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
