I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
