So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm bleeding and have questions
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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