i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
