do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
