Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
