hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
