everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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