you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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