I think scott just propositioned me for sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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