What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
