I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
