And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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