I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
