hell yes lets make some ravioli
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
