cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
