Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
