K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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