I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
