apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i think im in europe. pls send help
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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