we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
