why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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