you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
