Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
