and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this just has baby written all over it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
