I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
