i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
