we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
