Got a toothbrush?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
