Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
