sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm too high and old for this...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
