so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
