So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
