What a fucking waste of an outfit
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
