Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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