Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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