that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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