is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
